Utah Valley, Utah is not where you would expect to find proudly single women.
In a state culture that encourages marriage as early legally possible, it’s easy to feel like a social pariah if you make it to through college without a spouse. The looks of concern you get at family gatherings, or sighs of pity you’ll receive at parties are awkward at best. Those looks quickly turn into looks of disbelief when you tell them that you are actually happy.
I have been single for nearly 2 years now, and I’m not in any rush to change my status.
Sure, I’ve thought about dating and tried out a few apps, but I quickly discovered that I couldn’t get excited about anyone. Each time I swiped right, I found myself hoping that they wouldn’t actually arrange a date. A date might turn into dating, which could turn into a relationship and the lifestyle changes that go along with it. The fact of the matter is; I like my life the way it is.
Before I can consider entering a relationship, I would have to find someone that I”m willing to sacrifice the following things for.
- Clean Apartment: all messes in my place are mine alone. I clean for me, and everything stays in their place.
- Dinner for one: I get to eat whatever I want for dinner every night without judgement. If I want to eat mashed potatoes and only mashed potatoes for dinner, I can and no one will stop me.
- No Sharing the Remote: I can enjoy bad TV and cringy Netflix movies any time I want. No need to compromise or hand over the remote.
- Bed Time: I can got to bed whenever I want and sleep-in as late as I want. I don’t have to accommodate anyone else’s schedule but my own.
- Sleep: speaking of sleep, I get the whole bed to myself and my cat. No one steals the blankets, no one snores in my ears, and no one tosses and turns. Best of all, I can do all of those things myself without disturbing anyone else.
- Home Decor: I have enjoyed decorating my apartment the way I want for the last year. My things all have their place, and no one else’s possessions are cluttering my furniture.
- Girl’s Nights: I get to have a night out, or a night in with my girl friend’s without having to check in on anyone.
- Shopping Trips: I can spend whatever money I want to, whenever I want to. From weekly lunches with my sister to long days at the bookstore, I can create my own budget without considering anyone else’s financial needs.
- Decision Making: Every choice I make it 100% my own. If I want to move for work, or adopt a dog, I have no one to consider but myself.
- Solitude: I get to spend several hours alone every night. As an introvert, this is as close to heaven as I can get. Alone, but not lonely, with just my self and my thoughts is blissful.
Of course there are cons to each of the pros that I listed above, and there are also many wonderful things about being in a relationship. For me, this list is a small summary of the things I love about my life as it is right now. Maybe one day I’ll find someone I’m willing to change for, but for now I am enjoying the Bachelorette life.