The Stayed Hand: when you can’t put your ideas to the page.

I have drafts and plots for stories I want to write. They sit in their queue, waiting for me to pick them up, dust them off, and finish them. I have dreams for fairy tales, speculative fiction, suspense, and romance, all half-written with a clear road-map- but I can't bring myself to take the final … Continue reading The Stayed Hand: when you can’t put your ideas to the page.

Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope

When I was 19 I went on a date. It was clear early to me early on that I wasn't interested in him romantically, and I made that clear. He said he understood and that he was okay with being friends. For the last 9 years he's been an occasional brunch buddy, conversation partner, and … Continue reading Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope

Allergic to Happiness? Trying to overcome depression.

I had a bad reaction to my antidepressants. As a teenager I tried Lexapro. Just this year I tried Zoloft. Both drugs are SSRIs, meant to increase Serotonin (the happy chemical) in the brain. Both times I took the smallest dosages possible, and both times I suffered from "Serotonin Syndrome"- a series of side effects … Continue reading Allergic to Happiness? Trying to overcome depression.

Dating As a Demiromantic part 6: Am I Afraid of Love?

Am I demiromantic, or just afraid of love? This is a fair question that I spend several therapy sessions mulling over. It's true that I have a lot of trauma surrounding love and relationships. Those traumas come both from watching my mother's abusive marriage in childhood, and from my own toxic relationships in my teen … Continue reading Dating As a Demiromantic part 6: Am I Afraid of Love?

Struggling through Spring, Surviving the Summer

My annual bout of Seasonal Affective disorder has melded into regular depression. Usually, as the weather warms so does my mind. This year, it hasn't. It's officially summer now, but both my energy levels and happiness levels have remained stubbornly low. Despite all my best efforts and usual tricks: taking long walks, getting some sun, … Continue reading Struggling through Spring, Surviving the Summer