It's a book-shop kind of Sunday. Quiet chatter, and whirling grinders tickle my ears. The smell of coffee and books float through the air with each long, slow breathe. I camp out at a small table with a hot tea latte, a muffin, and my little laptop. The window to my right displays a cool … Continue reading Bookshop Sundays
Gray is the color of neutrality, nuance, and ambiguity. Maybe that's why so many people dislike it. People like clear-cut sides and answers; they crave the simplicity of black and white. Gray is more complicated than that. It blurs the lines with it's many shades. You could call it "indecisive", but I find it to … Continue reading Gray Represents Life
I have drafts and plots for stories I want to write. They sit in their queue, waiting for me to pick them up, dust them off, and finish them. I have dreams for fairy tales, speculative fiction, suspense, and romance, all half-written with a clear road-map- but I can't bring myself to take the final … Continue reading The Stayed Hand: when you can’t put your ideas to the page.
When I was 19 I went on a date. It was clear early to me early on that I wasn't interested in him romantically, and I made that clear. He said he understood and that he was okay with being friends. For the last 9 years he's been an occasional brunch buddy, conversation partner, and … Continue reading Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope
Prompt: Write from the perspective of your car She's singing again: loudly and badly. She's hitting my stirring wheel to the beat of the music as it pounds through my speakers with a slight reverb. The sun streams through my window, and she moves my visor in a futile attempt to shade her eyes. Dust … Continue reading Road Time Bonding
"If" can be a dangerous word. When we use it looking forward, it's about risks, possibilities, and potential. We may wonder what life would look like if we moved to the city, or if we take that trip, or if we ask out that person. Thinking about what could be is how we make the … Continue reading The Power of “If”: Why Do We Have Regrets?
I had a bad reaction to my antidepressants. As a teenager I tried Lexapro. Just this year I tried Zoloft. Both drugs are SSRIs, meant to increase Serotonin (the happy chemical) in the brain. Both times I took the smallest dosages possible, and both times I suffered from "Serotonin Syndrome"- a series of side effects … Continue reading Allergic to Happiness? Trying to overcome depression.
Am I demiromantic, or just afraid of love? This is a fair question that I spend several therapy sessions mulling over. It's true that I have a lot of trauma surrounding love and relationships. Those traumas come both from watching my mother's abusive marriage in childhood, and from my own toxic relationships in my teen … Continue reading Dating As a Demiromantic part 6: Am I Afraid of Love?
My annual bout of Seasonal Affective disorder has melded into regular depression. Usually, as the weather warms so does my mind. This year, it hasn't. It's officially summer now, but both my energy levels and happiness levels have remained stubbornly low. Despite all my best efforts and usual tricks: taking long walks, getting some sun, … Continue reading Struggling through Spring, Surviving the Summer
Despite the popularity of the industry, I never imagined myself in a tech field. Like many people, I assumed that you had to be some sort of tech genius to work in the industry; and tech genius I am not. In fact, until a few years ago I considered myself an analog gal. Imagine my … Continue reading Accidentally Technical: How I ended up in tech.