Bringing Mae Flowers

The girl next to me in the coffee shop is excited about her first marketing internship.

When I entered the shop, she passed by me at the door, talking on the phone. After I had placed my coffee order, and took a seat at an empty table, she returned from her call- grinning ear to ear. Now, she is excitedly telling her friend all about the new job, and texting her family the good news. Some people might be annoyed at her chatter and the buzzing of her phone, but I understand her excitement. Today was the last day of my job in the same industry, and I too am excited to start a new chapter.

I worked at that company for nearly 5 years.

My generation is known as “job hoppers”. Most of my fellow millennial friends and family rarely stay with a single employer for more than a couple of years. So, the fact that I have been working at the same marketing firm since I graduated college is considered unusual. Most of my cohorts leave their jobs to grow their careers and their income. As the saying goes: “loyalty doesn’t pay”. I understood that, and agreed. I always intended to leave eventually- but I was one of the lucky few that continued to receive regular internal promotions, and even some substantial raises, so I stayed- even when it became increasingly clear that my loyalty was being taken advantage of.

I was as excited as the girl at the cafe when I started my job.

I remember when I got the phone all on that cold February afternoon. I had just come out of one of the worst years of my life. I had finished my marketing internship early that autumn, followed by taking doctor-ordered FMLA for nearly 2 months in winter. By the time the new year, and my final semester of school, was dawning- I was more than ready to close out that chapter of my life. Starting a brand new job in a brand new field seemed like the perfect way to do that. When I got the call, I was working the night shift as a custodian at the University. Despite being at work, I immediately texted and called all my family, and posted the news to all my friends- just like the girl sitting next to me in the cafe. So, how could I judge her for doing the same?

But the shine started to wear off.

Between my internship, my freelance work, and my formal job, I have been in the industry for the better part of a decade. I’ve been an entry level intern, and account manager, and auditor, and even worked on product development and department head. As far as corporate careers go, I’ve had a meteoric rise. But, like many people have found in their careers, the faster I climbed up the ladder, the faster I burnt out.. The longer I stayed, the more work I was given, and the more overtime I had to work. I was growing sicker and more tired with each passing week. A job that once filled me with a sense of pride and purpose, started to fill me with dread. Toward the end, all I could think about is how tired I was and how much I wanted to leave.

Even so, I don’t regret my career.

I am not the excited intern I once was, but I still remember how it felt. I have recommended others to join the field, and mentored them through their early days. I am still proud of the work I have done and the product I’ve built with the company I have left today. Despite the exhaustion and stress I’ve felt in the last few months, I appreciate the opportunities my career has offered, and skills I gained in the role I have taken on. I don’t know if I will ever take on the exact same role I have had before (at least not for some time), but I don’t think will leave the industry as a whole.

I hope I can ignite that spark again.

Maybe I’m too jaded to feel that level of enthusiasm, but I hope I can find it in myself again. Maybe with a little time and some rest, everything will feel new. Back when I was starting out, anything felt possible- and I couldn’t wait to see where my career would take me. If I could offer the girl in the coffee shop any advice it would be this: enjoy the feeling of excitement and possibility for as long as you can. Savour each step of the journey by progressing steadily. The newness will wear off eventually, but it’s much easier to keep a flame burning, than to reignite a spark after its burnt out.