Bringing Mae Flowers

Once upon a time, each year seemed to drag on.

Each month feeling as separate and distinct from each other as winter as a decade. Now the year flies by in a blur of passing seasons- a kaleidoscope of changing leaves. It’s only when winter comes again, painting the landscape as white as a blank page that I realize the year is coming to a close.

Events that once halted time pass with little more than a pause.

This year has seen big changes: my partner moved in with me, I launched my new business, and I quit the job I have worked for nearly 5 years. There was a time that any one of these events would have felt overwhelming and exciting. I’ve always been the kind of person who stewed over every angle of a situation for months, until even I doubt that I will ever make the change. Then, just when I think I have given up or forgotten about it, I’ll do it all at once. I call this strange mix of caution and impulsivity the “Not at all, or all at once” approach to life. Everything will stay the same for years, until I suddenly decide to flip it all on it’s head.

This year was one of those years of near impulsive change.

I wasn’t discontent with my life. I lived (and still live) in a beautiful apartment. I had (and still have) enough money to supply all my wants and needs I was (and still am) surrounded by people who love and support me. The changes I made this year weren’t all driven by intense dissatisfaction. Most were made to increase existing happiness. This is vastly different from previous years of change, which were driven by self-hatred and depression. This year, I only added to my life instead of trying to reset it.

What will the next year bring?

This year brought me morning coffee with my partner. It brought me new friends in the small business community, and the possibility of embarking on an entirely new career. Next year may bring in more new changes, or I may settle into this new rhythm. All I really want is to continue in the happiness I’ve found.