Bringing Mae Flowers

2024 has already been a year of changes.

So far this year I’ve: started a new job, launched a new website, and sold my old car- and it’s only the second week of January. This might look chaotic from the outside, but it’s par for the course for me. Every few years I have a “year of changes”. These years are characterised by drastic changes in my relationships, living situation, and/or employment. Since college I have gone through several of these “periods of change”, with varying degrees of intensity and lasting impact. Contrary to popular understanding, I’ve found that it’s these years of sudden shifts has made me who I am today.

Conventional wisdom states that change should be gradual.

Most self-help books and gurus advice making small and steady changes toward a goal. The idea is that too much change at once would shock the system. I see the logic of slowly developing habits until they become second nature, but that doesn’t seem to work for me. No matter how I try, I can’t stick to a routine. If the change is too subtle and small, I won’t commit to it. It’s too easy to ease out of something I’m easing into. Instead, I have to either swim or drown.

It goes back to my “all at once” or “not at all” mentality.

I’ve found that I tend to collect and stew on ideas before I act on them. But, once I do I execute several ideas all at once. This tendency makes me look impulsive, but I set everything up like dominoes so that it all occurs in a swift motion. One change triggers another, which triggers the next- so everything falls into place in the space of 6 months. What looks like chaos to the outside world is actually a controlled demolition. I may not know what will be built in it’s place, but I made sure to have the groundwork laid.

I don’t have a blue-print for my life.

None of the big changes I’ve made to my life were part of some grand life-plan. I am not a careless person by any stretch of the imagination. I carefully weigh the pros and cons of every decision I make before I make it, and I always make sure to keep several options open before I make a move. However, I also don’t create detailed 1-year, 5-year, and 10-year plans. The fact is, I don’t know exactly where I want to go, so I can’t draw a road-map to get there. Instead, I judge my life based on the journey itself. If the road becomes too rough to go down, I switch roads. Since I don’t have a specific destination in mind, there’s no reason to stay on a a single path.

Even now, I don’t know what the rest of the year will look like.

I started a new contract job, but I am still interviewing for others. I launched my new business site, but I haven’t decided if I’m going all-in. I sold my car, but I haven’t decided if I’m buying a new one… there are still so many things left in the air. I set up my dominoes to allow me to create any number of patterns, depending on which tile I tip first. The final decision on my income will determine how the rest of my year looks. Regardless of what the final outcome is, I know that the changes I’ve made so far were worth it.

*The new website is for my business “Frau Holle LLC”. I make and sell perfume and colognes inspired by fairytales, folklore, literature, and myths. To learn more, please visit http://frauhollehollow.com