Bringing Mae Flowers

My budgeting strategy is financial anxiety.

The shadow of childhood poverty never truly goes away. It continues to follow you for the rest of your life, rearing it’s ugly head in unexpected ways. Even now, I make more money than I ever have in my life, and I still save pennies and continuously track my savings to make sure I “have enough”, never really knowing when “enough” to be enough. I don’t even set goals anymore. I simply run the numbers in my head over and over again, seeing how long I can stretch my savings if the worst were to happen. It’s every bit as pathetic as it sounds.

My biggest concern is falling victim to lifestyle inflation.

I’ve read articles about 6-figure earnings living paycheck-to-paycheck because their wants and needs continued to grow with their means. Most of my life I’ve lived on little, making the most of what I had. The last few years, I’ve climbed into the middle class and found myself with true disposable income for the first time in my life. At first I was worried I might fall into the hedonistic trap. It was probably that self-awareness and fear that prevented it from occurring.

My spending hasn’t changed much since college.

I live in the same apartment that I did in college, and drove the same beat-up car until last month (the old ’05 finally had a repair that cost more than the car was worth). My vices haven’t changed much in my years since graduation, and while my hobbies have evolved- their costs have not. My income has doubled, but my spending has not- a balance I have been careful to maintain over the last few years. Some people may think I am depriving myself, but I disagree. I may fear falling back into poverty, but that isn’t why I live the way I do.

I live simply because I like it.

As a child, I didn’t always get what I wanted. There were many times, we had to beg and borrow to get what we needed. Many times I was ashamed or embarrassed, and even afraid of how little we had, but it also made me appreciate what we did have all the more. I still enjoy shopping and buying new things, but I learned to temper many of my wants by thinking about the things I already have. Over the years I made a habit of going through my things once or twice a year, and found that doing curbed my desire to buy. It’s an exercise in gratitude as well as organization. The more I do this, the more I realize that it’s the simple things that bring me the most joy. So, why spend more when it won’t increase my happiness?

I guess that doesn’t really answer the question.

My approach to budgeting is very rudimentary: spend little and save more. I keep a close eye on my savings to alleviate my anxiety, and try to maintain a rough idea on my monthly earnings and expenses to make sure my spending isn’t outpacing my income. As long as I am doing that, I feel like I’m doing alright.