I had a bad reaction to my antidepressants. As a teenager I tried Lexapro. Just this year I tried Zoloft. Both drugs are SSRIs, meant to increase Serotonin (the happy chemical) in the brain. Both times I took the smallest dosages possible, and both times I suffered from "Serotonin Syndrome"- a series of side effects … Continue reading Allergic to Happiness? Trying to overcome depression.
Category: Documenting my breakdown
A Different Kind of Self Possessed
*Trigger warning: mentions of seizures, demonic possession, death, and night terrors* Halloween is approaching, and the veil is thinning. Spooky season is upon us once again, so the time for ghost stories, scary movies, and witchy-workings. Last night, some friends and I had a Halloween Slumber Party (yes, even though we all in our late … Continue reading A Different Kind of Self Possessed
Depressive Rut: How Am I Working Through It
I am in a rut. Everything is going fine: I still like my job, I still have great friends, and I even got to spend time with my little brothers who came to Utah for a visit. In fact, everything had been running so smoothly I didn't even notice the depression sneaking in until I … Continue reading Depressive Rut: How Am I Working Through It
Things Are Going Well, So Why Aren’t I Happy?
I know I'm not the only person who's been in this position, and maybe you are reading this because you're here too. Basically, I am doing great; I finished school, have settled into a job I enjoy, I have a beautiful place to live, and wonderful friends. I have every reason to be happy- but … Continue reading Things Are Going Well, So Why Aren’t I Happy?
Restless: Life with high functioning anxiety
The last few weeks I've been restless and unsettled. On the whole, things are looking good. I'm doing well in my final semester of school. I've started dating with some regularity, and I've even started a new job that pays much better than my last one. Despite all of that, or maybe because of it, … Continue reading Restless: Life with high functioning anxiety
A Day In Life
One person's great day is another person's terrible one. I don't just mean this as an "the world is what you make it" sort of deal, though that is true. I just mean that the world keeps turning bring different experiences to every person on Earth. Everyone is living their own complex lives in which … Continue reading A Day In Life
Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester
A Quick Word on the Post-Holiday Crash: Something about the holidays leaves us feeling drained and depressed. I suspect these feelings have something to do with how much time, money, and energy we expend trying to make these arbitrary dates "special" or "meaningful" only to end up feel let down when the days come and … Continue reading Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester
S.A.D: realities of depressive disorders
Christmas has come and gone in an almost uneventful way. The tree was lite, the presents wrapped, and stockings hung- but the joy just wasn't there. The dull browns, the dark days, the cold weather- something about it saps all my energy. It brings out all the sadness, the despair, and hopelessness. It's as if … Continue reading S.A.D: realities of depressive disorders
Epiphany
If you've been following my blog, you know that I've been very open about my mental illness and the journey I am taking toward mental health. In my last post about my mental health journey I mentioned how I've basically had some sort of major break-through in nearly every session after my second appointment. Once … Continue reading Epiphany
Fourth Session
*Brief mentions of trauma, abuse, and sexual assault* I've tried therapy several times in the past, but I've always ended up giving up before I make any progress. There are several reasons for this: I wasn't ready yet, I couldn't afford it, I felt like it was a waste of time, it was too hard... … Continue reading Fourth Session
Bringing Mae Flowers 