I finally had the anxiety attack I had been expecting. With a global pandemic, an economic crisis, and a flood in my apartment, I am surprised I didn't have a breakdown sooner. Those of you who follow my blog know that I have generalized anxiety disorder, which can (an has) triggered my depression, cPTSD, and … Continue reading Progress Isn’t Linear
I have depression as well as Seasonal Affective Disorder. If you've been following my blog for awhile, I've mentioned both several times. The way my usual depression differs from S.A.D. is in it's intensity. My depression is like allergies: annoying, always present, and occasionally has a huge flare up before dying back down to general … Continue reading Week Off: Dealing with S.A.D.
I grew up on the coastal plains of Texas, where hot summer storms made music on our metal roof. I have many memories of sitting on our large front deck watching sheets of water fall front the sky, flooding the spongy ground with large puddles of water, and filling the air with that sweet smell … Continue reading It Rained
I know I'm not the only person who's been in this position, and maybe you are reading this because you're here too. Basically, I am doing great; I finished school, have settled into a job I enjoy, I have a beautiful place to live, and wonderful friends. I have every reason to be happy- but … Continue reading Things Are Going Well, So Why Aren’t I Happy?
Better Doesn't Mean "Good". I never really thought about it before, but somewhere along the way we started to equate "better" with "good". But, "better" and "good" aren't the same thing. We know that, yet how often we tell our sick friends and family "get better soon!" Obviously we want our loved ones to feel … Continue reading What “Better” Means
A Quick Word on the Post-Holiday Crash: Something about the holidays leaves us feeling drained and depressed. I suspect these feelings have something to do with how much time, money, and energy we expend trying to make these arbitrary dates "special" or "meaningful" only to end up feel let down when the days come and … Continue reading Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester
*Brief mentions of trauma, abuse, and sexual assault* I've tried therapy several times in the past, but I've always ended up giving up before I make any progress. There are several reasons for this: I wasn't ready yet, I couldn't afford it, I felt like it was a waste of time, it was too hard... … Continue reading Fourth Session
FMLA is over, and work has begun again. I've forgotten just how exhausting working and going to school full-time is. I have classes from 12 pm to 4 pm, then work from 4:15 pm to 1:15 am and try to get homework done before and in-between. I knew that this insane work, work, work schedule … Continue reading Finals, Work, and Therapy
It's been awhile since I checked in with you, and here's why- I'm having trouble sleeping. Part of this is because I'm on the couch until my room is finished with it's construction (mold+leaky pipe+cracked foundation = bad times), another part of it is my needy kitty demanding love and attention at 7am when I … Continue reading Sleeping Troubles
Anytime I open up to someone and tell them about my mental healthy struggles they inevitably respond one of two ways: awkward, pointed change of subject, or the response "but, you're so pretty!". The first response I understand. Mental health is a delicate subject that many people wish to avoid whenever possible, but the second … Continue reading But, you’re so pretty.