Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester

A Quick Word on the Post-Holiday Crash: Something about the holidays leaves us feeling drained and depressed. I suspect these feelings have something to do with how much time, money, and energy we expend trying to make these arbitrary dates "special" or "meaningful" only to end up feel let down when the days come and … Continue reading Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester

S.A.D: realities of depressive disorders

Christmas has come and gone in an almost uneventful way. The tree was lite, the presents wrapped, and stockings hung- but the joy just wasn't there. The dull browns, the dark days, the cold weather- something about it saps all my energy. It brings out all the sadness, the despair, and hopelessness. It's as if … Continue reading S.A.D: realities of depressive disorders

Fourth Session

*Brief mentions of trauma, abuse, and sexual assault* I've tried therapy several times in the past, but I've always ended up giving up before I make any progress. There are several reasons for this: I wasn't ready yet, I couldn't afford it, I felt like it was a waste of time, it was too hard... … Continue reading Fourth Session

Finals, Work, and Therapy

FMLA is over, and work has begun again. I've forgotten just how exhausting working and going to school full-time is. I have classes from 12 pm to 4 pm, then work from 4:15 pm to 1:15 am and try to get homework done before and in-between. I knew that this insane work, work, work schedule … Continue reading Finals, Work, and Therapy

Sleeping Troubles

It's been awhile since I checked in with you, and here's why- I'm having trouble sleeping. Part of this is because I'm on the couch until my room is finished with it's construction (mold+leaky pipe+cracked foundation = bad times), another part of it is my needy kitty demanding love and attention at 7am when I … Continue reading Sleeping Troubles

But, you’re so pretty.

Anytime I open up to someone and tell them about my mental healthy struggles they inevitably respond one of two ways: awkward, pointed change of subject, or the response "but, you're so pretty!". The first response I understand. Mental health is a delicate subject that many people wish to avoid whenever possible, but the second … Continue reading But, you’re so pretty.

Pre-Depression

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's a common symptom to many of us who suffer from depression, but I have noticed a phenomena I call "pre-depression". What is it? The best way I can describe it is as an aura to depression, like the auras that often serve as a precursors for migraines. It's … Continue reading Pre-Depression

Mysterious Spasms and Pycho-Seizures

In grade school teachers will tell you to start your stories at the beginning. Not to discount traditional teaching methods and conventional wisdom, but this is bullshit advice. Some stories only make sense in hindsight. Some stories don’t have a beginning. These stories- the ones that don’t have a starting point or an ending still … Continue reading Mysterious Spasms and Pycho-Seizures

Documenting My Nervous Breakdown

I'm not sure who this will help other than myself, but I have decided to document my nervous breakdown. From diagnosis to recovery. Every dark, fragmented thought, every episode, and every moment of clarity- I'm going to share. THIS WILL BE TRIGGERING. THIS WILL BE TOUGH, THIS WILL BE OFFENSIVE. These are my experiences, as they … Continue reading Documenting My Nervous Breakdown