Both the temperature and my energy are low. January is always the hardest month of the year for me. My Seasonal Affective Disorder is in full swing, but I can't distract myself with thoughts of the holidays. The days are short, the weather miserable, and my motivation is non-existant. Everything from work to household chores … Continue reading January Lows: Seasonal Affective Disorder
The last few weeks I've been restless and unsettled. On the whole, things are looking good. I'm doing well in my final semester of school. I've started dating with some regularity, and I've even started a new job that pays much better than my last one. Despite all of that, or maybe because of it, … Continue reading Restless: Life with high functioning anxiety
A Quick Word on the Post-Holiday Crash: Something about the holidays leaves us feeling drained and depressed. I suspect these feelings have something to do with how much time, money, and energy we expend trying to make these arbitrary dates "special" or "meaningful" only to end up feel let down when the days come and … Continue reading Post Holiday Crash and the Final Semester
Christmas has come and gone in an almost uneventful way. The tree was lite, the presents wrapped, and stockings hung- but the joy just wasn't there. The dull browns, the dark days, the cold weather- something about it saps all my energy. It brings out all the sadness, the despair, and hopelessness. It's as if … Continue reading S.A.D: realities of depressive disorders
*Brief mentions of trauma, abuse, and sexual assault* I've tried therapy several times in the past, but I've always ended up giving up before I make any progress. There are several reasons for this: I wasn't ready yet, I couldn't afford it, I felt like it was a waste of time, it was too hard... … Continue reading Fourth Session
FMLA is over, and work has begun again. I've forgotten just how exhausting working and going to school full-time is. I have classes from 12 pm to 4 pm, then work from 4:15 pm to 1:15 am and try to get homework done before and in-between. I knew that this insane work, work, work schedule … Continue reading Finals, Work, and Therapy
It's been awhile since I checked in with you, and here's why- I'm having trouble sleeping. Part of this is because I'm on the couch until my room is finished with it's construction (mold+leaky pipe+cracked foundation = bad times), another part of it is my needy kitty demanding love and attention at 7am when I … Continue reading Sleeping Troubles
Anytime I open up to someone and tell them about my mental healthy struggles they inevitably respond one of two ways: awkward, pointed change of subject, or the response "but, you're so pretty!". The first response I understand. Mental health is a delicate subject that many people wish to avoid whenever possible, but the second … Continue reading But, you’re so pretty.
Therapy is terrifying. When we've been sick, scared, apathetic, mixed up, confused, anxious, depressed and whatever else for years, the idea of actually addressing the root cause is frightening. Why? Because we got used to the struggles we face daily. We have come to accept the trauma as part of who we are and the … Continue reading Therapy Is Terrifying: but it’s worth it
Bringing Mae Flowers 