Bringing Mae Flowers

I don’t need my partner.

I love my partner deeply. He is considerate, patient, goofy, talented, smart, and attractive. As far as heterosexual dating goes, I hit the jackpot. In the 18 months we have been dating, he has added to my happiness and emotional health by leaps and bounds. I don’t want to imagine a life without him in it moving forward- and yet, I don’t feel like my life would be empty without him. The truth is, I know that I could live without him.

I was happy before I met my partner.

My life full of chaos from a young age, but in my mid-20’s things started to settle. Through a lot of hard work and a little luck, I created a stable life for myself. I was single, but I had a whole life full of friends, family, hobbies, and peace. I still had my ups and downs, but I was genuinely happy. I didn’t want until I was in love to fall in love with myself and my life. That’s how I know that I could live without him, because I did. I was a full and fulfilled person before we met. That’s what made be capable of being a good partner in the first place.

I know I sound extremely unromantic.

We are conditioned from an early age to think of romantic love as the “end-all, be-all” in life. So many of our favorite stories are about romantic love- and I love that. I am a sucker for a good romance! I devour love stories in the form of books, comics, and movies- but I know the difference between fantasy and reality. In reality, love doesn’t overcome all obstacles, and it doesn’t always last forever. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s pointless or a waste of time. Love can be scary and painful, it’s true, but love is also powerful and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with loving love, it’s just important to remember that romantic love isn’t required to live a happy and whole life.

There’s a difference between a want and a need.

I don’t need my partner, but I do want him. I could live without my partner, but I don’t want to; choice is the important element here. I choose to love and support my partner, and I choose to be loved and supported by him. It really is that simple. Every morning we wake up and choose to love each other. Even when I’m sick or stressed, and when he’s tired or overwhelmed- we choose love, not because we have to, but because we want to. To me, that is the pinnacle of romance. My partner makes my life better in many different ways, and I hope that I do the same for him. But, if we weren’t together, we would both find other ways to improve our happiness. We have family and friends, work and hobbies- a million things to make life worth living with or without a romantic partner.

My partner isn’t my other half.

We aren’t two halves of a whole, but two whole people who have formed a partnership I don’t believe in soul mates or fate, but I do believe in love. We were lucky to have crossed paths when we did, but we were the ones who decided to start dating, and we are the ones who continue to choose to love each other. To me, that’s as romantic as it gets.