• The Time In-between

    The Time In-between

    Most of my views come at 4:00am on Mondays. This makes perfect sense to me, because I too lay awake so deep into the night that the sky starts to lighten with the approaching dawn. Those hours, after the calendar date changes at midnight but before the sunrises exists outside of time. This is doubly…

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  • Boring Isn’t Bad: a defense of boring.

    A friend of mine told me that she thinks she is boring. I was confused when she made this confession to me. She’s smart, funny, adventurous, well-traveled, and can really hold her known in any conversation. How could she think she was boring. When I asked for clarification she told me; “I don’t have all…

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  • Winter White Sky

    Winter White Sky

    The winter sky is white As the milky waters of Lethe.  The stark clouds blend into a horizon: No beginning and no end, Like oblivion.  The impervious sky, The impersonal snow, Blur the lines of heaven and earth. A void without warmth. A void without memory. A void without emotion.  Only the bliss of nothingness.

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  • Anxious Expectations: Afraid of Wanting Too Much

    I’ve always been afraid of wanting too much. I became convinced that if I told myself I don’t want it (whatever “it” is), it wouldn’t hurt when it was denied. I never believed it was “all or nothing”. Rather, I believed that it was “small or nothing”. I became content with scraps of affection, moments…

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  • The Cold Moon

    The Cold Moon

    The cold moon rises in a lifeless sky.  Silver as the winter,  Bright as a midnight sun, Shattering the darkness. Snow illuminates the landscape. A reflection of a reflection, A false dawn? Or heaven’s mercy on an endless night?

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  • Winter Wonderland: Cold December

    This December has been one of the coldest of my life. I’ve been in Utah for 14 years, but as Utah has been in a drought for just as long. My first winter in the Rockies was filled with ice and snow, but each consecutive year the snow came later and later. Many years we…

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  • Learning to Love Winter

    Learning to Love Winter

    I have never been a fan of the cold. Growing up in Southeast Texas, cold wasn’t something I encountered very often. The few occasions when the thermometer dropped below freezing were rare and therefore exciting. The fantasy of building snowmen or having a “white Christmas” were just that, fantasies. Until I moved to Utah and…

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  • Releasing Who I Was: crying for who I was, am, and could be

    Sometimes, out of no where, I want to cry. Not because I’m sad or because anything is wrong. Not because I’m so happy that I’m overcome, but just because it feels like something is building up inside and needs to be released. In those moments, which occur in calm moments, the tears don’t come. Though…

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  • The Sound of Winter

    The Sound of Winter

    Silence. Muffled, echoing voices singing yuletide songs. Silence. Smothered, trodding footsteps in the light crunch of snow. Silence. Dimmed, crackling flickers of a soft grated flame. Silence. Measured, rhythmic turning of a well worn page. Silence. Hushed, intimate whispers of a loved one’s voice. Silence. Stilled, passing time in the winter frozen world.

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  • Skipping Past the Good Part

    Skipping Past the Good Part

    I saw a post on pintrest the other day that talked living for the future. The post was copied from Twitter and read: “I feel like I’m constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that I’m right in the middle of what I used to look forward to.” It’s been making…

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