• Practice vs. Passion in Writing: assessing my growth as a writer

    In many ways, writing still feels like a need that’s intrinsic to my nature. But, external forces have been removed. Writing is no longer a forced activity rubrics and due dates, but a chosen form of expression.

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  • A Close Life

    A Close Life

    In a quiet little town-close enough to the coast to look for seaglass in summer. Is a cozy little house-close enough to the woods to watch the leaves change in fall. With a few good neighbors-close enough to share baked goods and gossip in winter. Who sit around a fire-close enough to imagine the warmth…

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  • Silence Is the Gift of Being: Learning to Love the Quiet

    We need Quiet Time. As a society, we hate silence. We play music in the background of coffee shops and grocery stores. We fill “awkward silences” with small talk and mindless chatter. We even go so far as to say that quiet people “have no personality”, or regard them with suspicion because “it’s always the…

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  • Alphabet Soup

    Alphabet Soup

    My mind is a bowl of alphabet soup. A mess of mental health diagnoses- reach in and pull out a spoonful. Arrange the letters to guess the imbalance that keeps me in vertigo a single cooling blow and I dive into the bowl.

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  • Bookshop Sundays

    Bookshop Sundays

    It’s a book-shop kind of Sunday. Quiet chatter, and whirling grinders tickle my ears. The smell of coffee and books float through the air with each long, slow breathe. I camp out at a small table with a hot tea latte, a muffin, and my little laptop. The window to my right displays a cool…

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  • Gray Represents Life

    Gray Represents Life

    Gray is the color of neutrality, nuance, and ambiguity. Maybe that’s why so many people dislike it. People like clear-cut sides and answers; they crave the simplicity of black and white. Gray is more complicated than that. It blurs the lines with it’s many shades. You could call it “indecisive”, but I find it to…

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  • The Stayed Hand: when you can’t put your ideas to the page.

    I have drafts and plots for stories I want to write. They sit in their queue, waiting for me to pick them up, dust them off, and finish them. I have dreams for fairy tales, speculative fiction, suspense, and romance, all half-written with a clear road-map- but I can’t bring myself to take the final…

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  • Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope

    When I was 19 I went on a date. It was clear early to me early on that I wasn’t interested in him romantically, and I made that clear. He said he understood and that he was okay with being friends. For the last 9 years he’s been an occasional brunch buddy, conversation partner, and…

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  • The Power of “If”: Why Do We Have Regrets?

    “If” can be a dangerous word. When we use it looking forward, it’s about risks, possibilities, and potential. We may wonder what life would look like if we moved to the city, or if we take that trip, or if we ask out that person. Thinking about what could be is how we make the…

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  • Allergic to Happiness? Trying to overcome depression.

    I had a bad reaction to my antidepressants. As a teenager I tried Lexapro. Just this year I tried Zoloft. Both drugs are SSRIs, meant to increase Serotonin (the happy chemical) in the brain. Both times I took the smallest dosages possible, and both times I suffered from “Serotonin Syndrome”- a series of side effects…

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