Bringing Mae Flowers

I struggled, so no one else should.

This shouldn’t be a controversial statement. I know how it feels to struggle physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Because I’ve experienced that pain, I don’t want anyone else to experience it. I don’t feel this way because I’m some sort of angel or saint– I’m far from it. I feel this way because I’m a human being. Empathy is a human emotion, so why has it become so rare?

My grandfather has a saying.

He says “the root of all evil isn’t money, it’s intolerance.” I don’t disagree, but I think it goes farther than intolerance. I believe that the root of all evil, is apathy. If sympathy and empathy are the emotions that make us human, then the lack of either makes us monsters. To me, it’s simple: being human comes with the responsibility to act humanely. that means you have to care about other people.

To have a village, you need to be a villager.

There’s a new saying that goes, “everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.” This is in direct response to the rise of “I don’t owe anyone anything” culture. The same people to claim to be “protecting their peace” by cutting off friends for the smallest disagreement or inconvenience are the same people who complain about being lonely. I’ve written other posts about this phenomena before. Selfishness as a form of self-care is the primary cause of the loneliness epidemic. And this is a real concern on an individual level and a societal one.

Cooperation is the foundation of civilization and society.

Humans are social creatures, we survived and flourished as a species because of our social structures. Without empathy, there is no compassion. Without compassion, there is no trust. Without trust, there is no cooperation. Without cooperation, there is no society. A society of individuals is unsustainable because it goes against our nature (see link to article in the paragraph above). The more apathy and greed are encouraged, the faster society collapses. We are watching this happen in real time.

Empathy is a skill.

There is some debate about how to define empathy and whether or not it can be taught. One thing that most experts agree on is this; we are born with some capacity for empathy, but we can also facilitate it’s growth. Because it is a trait that can be nurtured to grow, it is also a trait you can stifle or block. Our current economic structure discourages us from practicing empathy at every turn. It encourages you replace compassion with transactions, generosity with greed, and connection with consumption. To put it bluntly: we are being taught to kill our humanity in the name of profit. And the worst part is, we’re the ones paying for it; we aren’t the ones being paid.

Empathy isn’t always easy.

Selfishness is easy. Thinking about yourself, your wants and your needs, comes naturally. You do it all the time. But thinking about others? That’s harder. It requires a completely different skill set, one that (as mentioned in the paragraph above) we haven’t been using. We have to imagine how it feels to be someone else. Then we have to think critically about their circumstances. Finally, we have to put our feelings aside to consider theirs. That’s the hardest part– letting go of our own emotions. It takes both practice and patience to relearn how to do this, but once you do, it become easier.

So, how do we practice empathy?

Start reading. There’s a reason why the drop in literacy rates correlates so heavily with the rise in apathy and intolerance. Reading helps you develop empathy. When you read character-driven stories, you are transported into someone else’s story. You are privy to their story, their thoughts, and their emotions. You start to care about those character, and feel what they feel– that’s empathy! Once you learn how to do this with characters in a book, you can start to apply in real life.

Not all hope is lost.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of apathy and selfishness. Our current socioeconomic structure will try to convince you that apathy is strength and empathy is weakness, but the opposite is true. Apathy is how we become monsters. It is how corruption, greed, and chaos destroy our souls. Empathy is how we regain our humanity. It is how we build a future filled with communication, peace, and hope. It’s never too late change.