Silence Is the Gift of Being: Learning to Love the Quiet

We need Quiet Time. As a society, we hate silence. We play music in the background of coffee shops and grocery stores. We fill "awkward silences" with small talk and mindless chatter. We even go so far as to say that quiet people "have no personality", or regard them with suspicion because "it's always the … Continue reading Silence Is the Gift of Being: Learning to Love the Quiet

Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope

When I was 19 I went on a date. It was clear early to me early on that I wasn't interested in him romantically, and I made that clear. He said he understood and that he was okay with being friends. For the last 9 years he's been an occasional brunch buddy, conversation partner, and … Continue reading Persistence Isn’t the Key to My Heart: ending the friendzone to lover trope

Dating As a Demiromantic part 6: Am I Afraid of Love?

Am I demiromantic, or just afraid of love? This is a fair question that I spend several therapy sessions mulling over. It's true that I have a lot of trauma surrounding love and relationships. Those traumas come both from watching my mother's abusive marriage in childhood, and from my own toxic relationships in my teen … Continue reading Dating As a Demiromantic part 6: Am I Afraid of Love?

Struggling through Spring, Surviving the Summer

My annual bout of Seasonal Affective disorder has melded into regular depression. Usually, as the weather warms so does my mind. This year, it hasn't. It's officially summer now, but both my energy levels and happiness levels have remained stubbornly low. Despite all my best efforts and usual tricks: taking long walks, getting some sun, … Continue reading Struggling through Spring, Surviving the Summer

Cozycore or Corporate World? Choosing the Life I Want to Live

I read a lot of cozy mysteries on vacation last week. Don't ask me how murder mysteries can be so charming and relaxing, but they are. Cozy series tend to follow a set formula: a single woman in her mid-20s to 30's, owns a successful small business in a small town. Despite the small size … Continue reading Cozycore or Corporate World? Choosing the Life I Want to Live