So, I guess I’m bipolar now.

I almost impulse bought a house. I never thought that would be a sentence I would say, but here we are. It started several weeks ago when I became curious about a house for sale in my neighborhood. What started as casual curiosity rapidly spiraled into an obsession. I stated checking local listings several times … Continue reading So, I guess I’m bipolar now. →

Fickle Lady Luck: what is luck, and can we change it?

I fear happiness and stability just as much as I crave it. My childhood was filled with poverty and unrest, and my college years were full of abuse and misfortune. All I knew for the first 25 years of life was disappointment and bad luck, and that's what I came to believe that life would … Continue reading Fickle Lady Luck: what is luck, and can we change it? →

How Much Should I Share? The Ethics of Storytelling Online

I've been reading my childhood diary on TikTok. I've been keeping journals since I was 11 years old, so I have a lot to share. It stated as a laugh, an accompaniment to to my storytimes and a way to poke fun at the dramatic recollections of a child. But, the fact of the matter is … Continue reading How Much Should I Share? The Ethics of Storytelling Online →

Snowdrops and Spring Spirits

Last spring I was in low spirits. I woke up on March morning after a mocking dream, reminding me of all I had lost in a past I couldn't change. I was shaken by the nightmare, as I hadn't had a dream about that particular subject in years. It wasn't until I was pouring my … Continue reading Snowdrops and Spring Spirits →

A Journey through Journals: exploring my past through my old journals.

I have completed 17 journals between 2005 and 2022. I started journaling when I was 11 years old, though I did not start writing with regularity until college. It was an activity that was highly encouraged by my family. Every year at Christmas we would all receive a blank journal, and my mother led by … Continue reading A Journey through Journals: exploring my past through my old journals. →

Homecoming: putting down roots after a life of leaving

I don't know where to call home. My family has always been nomadic. We move wherever opportunity takes us, rarely staying anywhere for more than a few years. We've always lived with the understanding that fortune favors the flexible, so those of us born without fortune's favor had to find it. So, we chased stability … Continue reading Homecoming: putting down roots after a life of leaving →

The Time In-between

Most of my views come at 4:00am on Mondays. This makes perfect sense to me, because I too lay awake so deep into the night that the sky starts to lighten with the approaching dawn. Those hours, after the calendar date changes at midnight but before the sunrises exists outside of time. This is doubly … Continue reading The Time In-between →

Boring Isn’t Bad: a defense of boring.

A friend of mine told me that she thinks she is boring. I was confused when she made this confession to me. She's smart, funny, adventurous, well-traveled, and can really hold her known in any conversation. How could she think she was boring. When I asked for clarification she told me; "I don't have all … Continue reading Boring Isn’t Bad: a defense of boring. →

Anxious Expectations: Afraid of Wanting Too Much

I've always been afraid of wanting too much. I became convinced that if I told myself I don't want it (whatever "it" is), it wouldn't hurt when it was denied. I never believed it was "all or nothing". Rather, I believed that it was "small or nothing". I became content with scraps of affection, moments … Continue reading Anxious Expectations: Afraid of Wanting Too Much →

Winter Wonderland: Cold December

This December has been one of the coldest of my life. I've been in Utah for 14 years, but as Utah has been in a drought for just as long. My first winter in the Rockies was filled with ice and snow, but each consecutive year the snow came later and later. Many years we … Continue reading Winter Wonderland: Cold December →