Bringing Mae Flowers

When did humanity become so inhumane?

Archaeologist Margaret Mead once famously said “The first sign of civilization is a healed femur”. In a time agriculture, when humans survived by hunting and gathering in a nomadic lifestyle, a broken leg would be a death sentence to someone trying to survive on their own. Someone with a broken leg cannot hunt, protect themselves from predators, or even properly set their bones to heal. Without kin to provide help, an individual wouldn’t live for long. Yet, despite being a “burden” on those around them- a drain on their scarce resources- we have seen ancient, even prehistoric remains, that indicates people surviving for years with various disabilities. This tells us at least one thing- humans haven’t always been selfish.

People Need People

There’s a lot of talk about a “loneliness epidemic“. More people than ever are reporting feeling depressed, lonely, and isolated since COVID 19. This has led to a host of physical, mental, and emotional issues that has been hurting individuals and society at large. As much as some people may try to deny it, homo sapiens are social animals. There is a reason that solitary confinement is classified as torture. People need other people to remain healthy and sane. It’s a biological fact that humans are hardwired to live in groups, it’s a part of human nature. That’s why this rise in isolation is literally killing us.

How did we get here?

While the pandemic may have accelerated it, I believe the problem started long before quarantine. For decades there has been a rise in neoliberal values of independence, individualism, and consumption. The myth of the nuclear family being the “natural” way of life paired with the myth that a man can, and should, “make it on his own” started to sever the ties of community. Though all archaeological and historical evidence points to the contrary, but the idea stuck and intensified as capitalism took off. Instead of relying on your and supporting your community in turn- competition became the norm. Instead of helping our neighbours, we began to envy them. Instead of trusting our communities, we became suspicious of them. Asking for help in times of need became shameful, and the accumulation and display of assets became a sign of success. Cooperation and compassion, the very things that helped humans survive and prosper on Earth, are slipping away a little more every day.

Community in the Age of Individualism.

One of the biggest indicators of the loneliness epidemic is the number of people who report that they don’t have any friends. As someone who prides myself on my close relationship with a diverse group of people, this breaks my heart. I survived some of the hardest years of my life because I have had the support of friends and family, and I have offered help to others in turn. Favors and acts of kindness–big and small, are what bond people together. I think that’s why friendships are dying. I’ve noticed an upsetting trend of people who see acts of service as a burden rather than a gift. Every interaction has become a transaction. Instead of casual quality time, every meeting has become an event that requires spending money. And instead of treating one another in turns, people have begun to Venmo each other for everything from a cup of coffee to a ride to the airport. Is it any wonder that people are lonely when they have started to treat personal relationships more like business associations? It’s no wonder the human part has fallen out of humanity.

How do we fix it?

We may not be able to change the world overnight, but we can start by making small changes within ourselves. That begins with practising compassion and cooperation. That means actively being a friend and support to those around you, and making an effort to reach out to others instead of withdrawing into yourself. This means actively building your community through participation and patience. It means setting aside your suspicions and pride, and doing acts of service without expecting anything immediate in return. Lead by example, and with time, practice, and patience, you will see that those seeds of compassion start to grow into a community of mutual support. It won’t always be easy, and it may take years, but it will be worth the effort.