*I’ve posted this before, but this is really important so I’m posting it again. The first 3 rules are about safety, the last is just about manners*
Writing Challenge: August 27, 2018
Prompt: what are your most important rules when you go out on dates?
My 4 Dating Rules:
- For the first 3 dates, be your own transportation. Don’t tell them where you live. Don’t let them dictate when you can leave. Don’t get in their car. Drive yourself, ride a bus, take an Uber, use a friend or at the very least have a friend on-call to pick you up if you need to make an escape. Is this advice a bit paranoid? Perhaps, but ask around and I can almost guarantee you that at least one of your friends has had an issue with stalkers, or had to leave a date early when things got creepy.
- For the first 3 dates, keep things public. Plan your date in a location where there are other people. It’s safer for you, and it’s safer for your date. You are less likely to be attacked, or to be accused of attacking someone where there are other people around, and as a bonus- people-watching gives you things to talk about!
- For the first 3 dates, stay in familiar territory. This doesn’t mean you can’t try a new restaurant or a new activity in your area, but be familiar with the general location you are going to, and don’t go into a domain where one of you clearly has the upper-hand, like their house, a friend’s party, etc. This serves a dual purpose: the first is safety, but the other is comfort. It’s awkward to go to a party where you don’t know anyone, and can be overwhelming to feel lost in a neighborhood or city you aren’t used to; keeping the location neutral helps even the playing-field so you can both enjoy your time together.
- If you ask someone on a date, you pay. Male, Female, gender-non-binary, if you asked you pay. It’s just basic manners. If you ask someone out and assume they will pay, it’s presumptuous and selfish. You should be asking someone out because you want to spend time with them and get to know them. Assuming they have the money to pay is over-stepping. If they offer to split to pay the whole bill, you can decide among yourselves, but this is the 21st century- it’s a whole new dating world that should be centered on respect and equality.